Friday, May 20, 2011

first time

So the other day i was watching my 9 month old Eli eating a apple for the first time. As i watched him hold it experiencing the textures and feel of the apple, placing it in his mouth and tasting the apple for the very first time and watched his eyes and expressions as he learned that it was good tasting and good. He even looked at me and his mother like " is this ok? " It was awesome. What this reminds me of is my own story of a rebirth in my Christian life. After i accepted God into my life and became " born-again ", its as if i am experiencing things for the first time, enjoying it, tasting it, looking around at people asking if this is ok. Simple normal everyday things that i would do on a any normal day have gotten so much more meaning now that i have the Lord to experience it with! I have come to learn that this is a form of christian hedonism, enjoying Christ with everything i do. He has opened my eyes to such happiness and joy that i could never fathom happening in my life. I mean i am not going to lie, there were times in my life before i was saved that i did experience happiness, but it cannot hold a candle to the happiness that i have shared with God. Just the other day i experienced this and it was so amazing. For awhile now we have been having long nights because my son Eli is cutting his teeth and is having a hard time sleeping, so in turn we have been having a hard time sleeping lol. So while i was laying there trying to be as quiet as i can i have been not just praying, but having conversations with God. Praising, praying, listening, enjoying the time. I kept asking for help with my anger issues and how to get to the bottom of it and find the root problem that makes it happen almost every day. Now i did this for a few days and nothing was happening but i didn't stop talking to Him. Then the other day, out of no where. I wasn't even thinking about it or anything.......the answer and solution just popped in my head! And my first reaction was to argue it, my selfish behavior came into play right off the bat. But it was almost like a slap in the face to wake up! To see my shortcoming, my selfish self centered attitude towards this. God spoke directly to me and helped me. And i have never felt better about that situation, my life, my marriage, my faith! So that was me enjoying my first taste of a " apple ".

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